just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
