So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
