never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The feeling are messing with the penis
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
