I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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