I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize