Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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