you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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