I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
