She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
