I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize