Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
