PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was born a porn star she said
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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