that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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