I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
