Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
