Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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