You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
