the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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