we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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