But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
