the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
