Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
