So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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