i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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