The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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