a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
