Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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