she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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