Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In the future we'll all be gay
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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