If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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