He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
