Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
