well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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