Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
