so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize