then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
