I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He kissed a someone with a penis
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
