What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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