Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize