Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You made out with two different species that night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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