Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
True college students do jello shots in the library
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
