so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
