I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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