he puts the penis in happiness.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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