Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
