This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
