I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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