Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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