i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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