I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize