woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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