I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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