her facebook's as public as her vagina
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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