I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
