Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
