4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
