Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
