He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Randomize
