I met the friendliest cop last night
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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