i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
