I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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