You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize